what is there to do before sunlight spills
left in the inky dark
except for rub my raccoon eyes
sip on smooth black silk
and wait for you to wake
?
there is a rhythm to stirring my coffee
like when we used to rock our baby
what is there left to do
except for rub my raccoon eyes
and feel my heart quake
?
our love is an endless pack of stamps
and sends me whirling around the planet
a blur of nights and days
carnival lights
sand and sea and snow and tree
and everything in between
our love is etched in a notebook
in a mailbox
beside the ocean
and in a jewelry box
where I keep my thin ring of grass
our love is a rack of empty hangers
prepared to carry the weight
hanging on for more than just
the sake of hanging on
a greater purpose to keep things elevated
than getting and staying high
I woke before five and still missed the sunrise
got caught up laying next to you in bed instead
dozing off for a bit while you lathered and rinsed
stuffed my mouth with Chex Mix and kissed you
good morning, and have a good day
three stories tall and three stories deep
and three poems long already
this morning has been uplifting in its simplicity
meditations over cups of coffee
then kissing you on your way
out
my life is a good dream
Waiting to speak
Ask me to agree
Or disagree
Let me chime in so that you can talk over
Do not make me feel included
I am always
Always
Always
always always always always
always always always always always
ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS
alone
and it really isn’t anyone’s fault
but my own
Your eyes might never read this
But even if they do
They still might never see this
I don’t think you understand
I don’t think anyone is strong enough to pull me up and out
Talk over me
Ripping
Smoke
Happiness
Do you remember when
I tried to quit smoking on our road trip?
I was so afraid of losing my voice
When truth be told
I have hardly ever had one at all
Stumble over
The smoke settles –
What’s happening?
Love me.
Am I reliving my last life?
Are my thoughts aliens
Looking through my eyes?
Is this a fake?
What words will come out before I realize what I’m saying?
Let this be a good omen
The red bird halts
The summertime leads
Sun fragments
Light shards
We blew up G2V
Tell me the story, hands
I promise I won’t be scared
Listen to the ring
I am so scared.
Watch the numbers. 4. 6.
You’re doing great.
Heaven.
We are here.
This was a journey to find real love
Here
Here
Here
It isn’t possible to lose now
Take care
Treat better
Do what you need
Don’t bury a thing
Love
The music talks
The pattern spins
You asked god for this that day
He granted your wish
The worst panic attack of my life is almost over
I just had to feel it out.
I had to feel the hurt so I could move forward
I took the long road
And I’m sorry
Please forgive me
I didn’t mean to take so long
This lifetime’s trapped in mine
A bubble in a bubble
Do you see
Don’t be fooled
This is a secret.
We come back here together
Our instruments are hardly keeping up with us
Perfect
There are two hills hiding with my eyes closed
Two hills
Two storms
Where are we passing through?
Yogi tea makes everything better
Green tea has grown on me
Am I making you happy?
I want to help you find your happiness
I want to keep you there
Are these lyrics?
What are you whispering now?
Where did I leave my pen?
Does anyone remember me?
Why does it surprise me when people do?
Tell me
Speak louder
Shed that shell now
You’re ripping it off
Tear cut scrape
Bad jokes I’ll forget
Are we really going?
Let me make you happy
Oh god
I have never wanted this so much
I have never been so happy
Over someone else’s joy
I love you
Stay
Happy clouds
Now the sun is home again
Victor
Victory
We make it out alive
Rip tear
Clean mend
I am still a tired mess
My throat feels like
Screams
But it’s only the weather pulling me under
I am skin and bones
But I know better
I take better care now
Cautious of the underground heat
The fog lifts
The rain moves out
Runs in the other direction
I’ll take better care of you
Do you see my thoughts on my face as clearly as I see yours?
Does the ink bleed?
Is this a waste?
Let me be
Let it be
Untangle
Lift
Pretty and simple
I am the name-giver
I am the light-bringer
The fan spins in time
You love polyrhythms
Smoke lifts
Light trails
Have I even said anything yet?
Do you know?
I’m terrified.
I’m comfortable.
I’m happy, I’m okay
Let me hear my lifetime sung
Go with me
I see all
I hear all
Help
Lift the curse
Untangle knotted thoughts
Smoke
Please
Anything
I need that escape
Outlet
Fumes
Thoughts are stretched so wide that I can’t read them
Time stands so still
I can’t budge it
Don’t read this
You’ll only see how talented I’m
Not
Not
Not
You are happy
I see the board
I can see moves ahead
The game is getting easier
The pieces aren’t as heavy
Blowing smoke rings in hotel bathrooms
With those two awkward
I-want-to-be-one-night
I-can’t-stand-you’s
Anything to fix me up
Endure the bad jokes
Roaming eyes
Disgusting “compliments”
Self-serving “concerns”
Smoke
Do our thoughts
Rise up to heaven
Or do they just fade away unless we catch them?
Busy strings
Busy fingers
Not quite i your element, but close enough
What is my element?
Where is my joy?
How can I write
So much
About
So little
I’ll only disappoint you
How much longer until sleeps crushes us
For good
No one wants to hear what I have to say
dead,
cut,
and dried.
sage and wine leaves
curl and crinkle outward from stem
and the soft curves of threes
form in light filler flower.
outlined in sepia hues –
even the whites have faded –
but the roses still burst
bright yellow core
to pink petal tip.
brainspill 2.0 